Things I Heard in The T House This Weekend

"I swear to god I will do a DNA test to see who stuck their gum under my office chair if someone doesn't fess up right now!"

"I think our dog has issues."

"Who left the lights on in my truck when they thought it'd be a hoot to sit and watch a DVD out there last night?!"

"Gregg if I find one more of your toothpicks in the lint container in the dryer, I will shove them up your fingernails."

Gregg and Joy in the kitchen....

Joy:  "So what's up?"

Gregg:  "Nothing much, just puttin the dishes away from the dishwasher because apparently no one else in this house is capable of doing it and good ol dad has to work his fingers to the bone to support his family in the manner to which they've become accustomed too and I don't mind that at all but then I have to come home and do dishes and it's a little bit annoying but I don't mind because that's the kind of guy I am, the good guy, always the good guy, that's me."

Joy:  "Oh ok.  But you DO realize the dishwasher wasn't turned on and you're now putting away dirty dishes right?"

Conversation between Gregg and his oldest daughter Kelsey.....

Gregg:  "So how's it going?"

Kelsey:  "Good, how about for you dad?"

Gregg:  "Good.  Good."

Kelsey:  "Well that's good."

Gregg:  "Yep, good is good.  Speaking of good, how's that boyfriend of yours."

Kelsey:  "Oh he's REALLY good!"

Gregg:  "Well that's good."

Kelsey:  "Ya, but he couldn't come down this weekend because he had to work."

Gregg:  "Uh huh, well sometimes that happens."

Kelsey:  "Ya, mom says absence makes the heart grow fonder though so we'll be ok."

Gregg:  "I think your mother meant to say abstinence makes the heart grow fonder."

Kelsey:  "Oh my God dad!"  "MOOOOooooom!"

"I'm not ungrateful at all.  If you go out and buy me a muffin I expect a whole muffin, not one with three bites out of it."

"Mom when you excuse yourself in the middle of a conversation and then come back and say things like "There that's better.  I put my bra on and the girls are back up where they should be." I just want you to know, there's no recovering from that for me."

"I put your desk together.  I didn't have fun putting your desk together.  If I have to put another desk together I want a bottle of spiced rum sitting right there beside me."

A friend called up to say she just got the below email and it instantly reminded her of me.....I don't see it? :o)

A lady was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking space.

Looking up toward heaven, she said, "Lord, take pity on me.  If you find me a parking place, I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up sex and vodka."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

She looked up again and said, "Never mind.  I found one."

Comments

[happy and blue 2]

Ha,ha,ha..I want to live in your house. It's so much funnier than mine..

[Debbie]

I agree with Happy. There must be constant laughing at your place....or crying. One of the two.

[Radioactive Jam]

I'm laughing but mostly because it all seems so familiar to me, like deja voodoo or something. Although the Radioactive Spouse doesn't refer to any particular body parts as "the girls," the essence of that verbal exchange - the mentioning of what someone (typically an adult child, though on occasion... me) considers unmentionable happens on a regular basis.

Amazing.
:)

[Sirdar]

Fun at the T house!! Buy the way...due to my past working experiences, I can relate to Gregg and the comments he made about the dishwasher. Not that the dishwasher is the issue...its the other things he said.