Letters to Joy

I thought I'd take a few minutes and answer some emails that have come into my mailbox over the last little while.  I did this before and everyone really liked it so why not go with something that works right.

One email asks why I don't print the people's names of the email I'm answering.  I went out on a limb and decided if they didn't want to comment, then they probably didn't want their names in a post either.

I've been asked a few times if there are any more Mushu stories, but no.....not yet.  Trust me, Mushu will do something to warrent another story soon I'm sure.

I've had probably 8 or 9 emails with people saying how much they love how Gregg and I love and adore each other and blah blah blah.  That's nice and all but it makes me think I've been misleading when I've written some of my posts.  Read carefully now so there's no more delusions of grandeur here.  I write "I" love and adore my husband.  I've never once said my husband loves and adores me.  Now.  Don't write and ask me what that means, cause I'm not going to tell you :o)

I received a whole slew of emails in the last couple days on when I wrote about the defintion of who I was.  Oiy!  Comment people.  Comment so other's can read what I read.  I've received an overwhelming amount of emails from women telling me how it was most likely my husband's fault on how I lost myself somewhere along the line.  Whoa.  False.  Can I make this any clearer.  FALSE!!  I don't believe in that kind of nonsense thank you very much.  My life is what "I" make it, no one else.  It just didn't come across like that because I suck at writing.  If I am known as 'the wife and mother', it's because I've allowed myself to be known as that all these years.  To be honest, I was ok with the definition in my 20's and 30's but now with one child moved out, two others to follow soon and a husband who still works out of town as much as ever, I am ready for the next stage of my life.  Still as wife and mother....I'm extremely proud of those titles........but a life that is defined as Joy as well.  Debbie said it best...time to re-define.  That should be in a fortune cookie I think.  How am I going to re-define after all these years of being known strictly as wife and mother?  Well I'm not exactly sure.  But it's me, so I have no doubt I'll be determined in my task.  So STOP writing to me and telling me I need to get a backbone and stand up to that husband of mine.  Good grief, I assure you Gregg has seen Joy's backbone up close and personal for a lot of years now.  Ok that didn't come out right either...I can't write worth shit.....let's just say I'm tough and leave it at that.

A few emails asking if I ever finished going through the NaBloPoMo list.  No, with Christmas and all I've been way too busy to sit and spend the hours needed to go through it.  But I do hope the list is still up in the new year because I'm still on a mission to find the Canadian blog I was looking for.

Emails saying I should do more crafts because they like when I post them.  Ok, for you and only you I will try and sit still long enough to get more crafts done.  But I warn you, don't hold your breath.

One person who told me I need to pick a theme, stick with it and I would probably have more people come over to visit me.  I've read that a 'theme' or one 'topic'...is that the same thing.....for your blog is better because people want to look things up on certain subjects and want one place to go and find it.  Well then move on, because I wouldn't know a theme for my blog if it bit me in the arse.  I guess if I had a gun to my head and someone yelling at me "What's your theme, what's your theme Joy!"  I would have to scream back "My theme is about nothing, that's my theme.....nothing!"  I love the idea of themes for blogs and it's true, if I want to know about cooking, I go to my favorite cooking blog.  If I want to look at photography, I go to some of my  favorite photography blogs.  But I don't have a theme, and I like it like that.

Emails asking me to write more on my coffee shop visits.  I can do that.  Which brings me to one email I received who thought I used the word 'that' too often.  Ok.  I'll try not to do THAT....just for you sweetpea.

And last but not least, a few emails on "Do more Meme's Joy, I find out more about you with each Meme."  Well, ummm, I find most bloggers don't like meme's when they are surfing through other blogs.  "I" do, because like those of you who wrote to me, I like getting to know the person a bit better and the meme's are a way of doing that.  But people just don't like them so I try not to do too many.  And besides, what MORE could you possibly want to know about me and my charming personality? :o)

Comments

[happy and blue 2]

I always wondered about the theme thing too. Now I see that there is no theme because of your brutish husband who demands that you don't have one, ha,ha..

Theme blogs are ok but variety of posts is nicer..

[Sirdar]

Your theme is...you!! Isn't that a good enough theme? I think so but that is just me. I like your blog because its real every day life stuff. It is about you and your family. Themes a just about a subject. They are impersonal.

PS: Why are people emailing you? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of a blog comment? You should put a few of the emails online on the post they are emailing you about and add their name at the end of it. That would stop a few emails!!

[Debbie]

I love your blog just the way it is, too.
Regarding the comments on you and your husband:
Sometimes I wonder if people are reading the same blog that I am. I NEVER got that from what you wrote. You guys sound like you have a healthy marriage. You don't bottle anything up, and you have a wonderful sense of humour about it as well. Nothing gets taken too personally. I’d be more concerned about the so-called friends who made those awful remarks to you about staying at home with your kids.

[Joy T.]

LOL brutish husband... :o) I agree about the variety Happy, I tend to go back to blogs that have a variety of things in them.

Sirdar....I have thought of doing just that. Especially when they were attacking my hubby. Humph! Sweetest guy in the world and there they are...behind the scene....well anyway. Hopefully I set them straight in my ever-tactful way :o) I think I'm going to take my email out and hopefully if anyone has anything to say they will feel comfortable saying it in the comments. It'll be much easier for me to have everything to do with my blog right here instead of having to jump back and forth to emails. Plus I REALLY would have liked to see what other people had to say about what these feminists had to say to me. I figure if they can't comment on my blog then that's fine. Stay silent.

Debbie - Ya we're pretty much "If I'm thinking it you're hearing it" kind of people. It's hard to describe...respectful but. Our philosophy is if you don't tell me I'm sucking the life out of you then how will I know. Communication is key. Now I have an announcement....Gregg and I are getting a divorce. HA!!!! Fooled ya!!! But if we were.....we'd communicate that to each other. Teehee god I'm funny, if not slightly delirious, at 1:00am.