A Spot of T

Food to Crack Up Over

A conversation between Samantha and her mother on the way to the restaurant today........

Samantha:  "What's the name of the restaurant we're going to again?"

Me:  "Opium"

Samantha:  "Opium?"

Me:  "Yep, but it's not really called Opium, it's called O-P-M.  OPM Restaurant.  But if you say it fast it comes out Opium."

Samantha:  "Ya like the drug."

Me:  "Oh the drug.  How do YOU know about opium the drug?"

Samantha:  "School.  And I heard if you eat poppy seed muffins and then have to have a urine test, it will show up that you've been using opium."

Me:  "Are you serious?  I didn't know that?  I eat poppy seed muffins all the time from Second Cup."

Samantha:  "I know.  So maybe your pee has opium in it."

Me:  "Wow, how cool.  I've never been drug tested before but wow.  Maybe I'm an addict."

Samantha:  "Ya, you're a muffin addict.  Maybe it's not really the muffin you're craving though."

Me:  "Whoa!  So maybe if they're out of muffins at Second Cup and I want my 'fix' I can just go down Jasper Avenue to a back alley and ask for it."

Samantha:  "Ooooo scarey."

Me:  "And instead of saying 'hey mister you got any opium?' I could use a code word like they do on tv for cocaine....you know....smack or spat or jack.  But my code word would be cooler.  Like 'muffin'.  Ya. So I'll go down Jasper Avenue and say  'Hey mister you got any muffin?"

Samantha:   Laughing hysterically.

And a review of the restaurant?  Awesome!  I will definitely be going back there.  I had the Curry Chicken and the first few bites took a bit of getting used to, but after that I loved it.  Hot though.  My nose ran, I was sweating, my eyes watered.....all good.  I loved it.

I wanted to do the restaurant justice so instead of trying a weak attempt at writing about it, I googled and found this review.  Different meals of course but after what we experienced and reading this review, I have a feeling you can't go wrong with whatever you order at the OPM Restaurant.

Next Restaurant on my list to try?  Joey's Global Grill & Lounge.  Because my daughter tells me they have a Buttered Chicken that is to die for.....and I love Buttered Chicken.

Mushu the Bichon Frise

Jeanne stopped by my blog and commented on Mushu.  But since I still can't comment back on my blog, I thought I would answer her question here.  She has a good eye.  Mushu is indeed a Bichon Frise.  What I want to know though is, why is it everytime I see another Bichon....Mushu is so much more....ummm....erm....fluffie?  Personally I think he's just big boned.  Take a look at Jeanne's little Princess!  So cute.  Those pictures are absolutely priceless.  I want one of Mushu with the Easter Bunny!  And I swear this Christmas there will be a picture of Mushu with Santa.  I don't care how dumb my husband thinks it is.

I've also had a couple people ask how we picked out the name Mushu.  Remember back in the 90's when the Disney movie 'Mulan' came out?  I LOVED the movie.  I also liked what the name Mushu stood for.....Guardian of the family.  A little bit from the site says "Mushu might be pint-sized, but he has more than enough personality....." 

So with that, this was Mushu after his day at the spa groomers yesterday.

I am saying "Mushu?  Mushu?  Mushu?" and he's saying "I refuse to look at you until you take this stupid green thing off my neck.

 

But I'm smarter and catch him in the side mirror.

So he shows me because even though I specifically park out of the way of the puddle on the driveway.  He goes out of his way to walk through it.  And no matter how much I call him....he refuses to turn around.

But I'm smarter because I trick him with the word "treat".

 

But he catches on quick and shows me he never had any intention of being sucked-in by the word 'treat' and was just going to have a nice cool refreshing drink out of this gross puddle.

 

So he comes inside and rolls on the rug to get the itchy scratchy hairs off from the groomers......

And instantly stops when I try and take pictures of him.  Notice he's trying not to look at me?

And as soon as I go to walk up the stairs....he starts rolling again.....

But instantly stops when I take the first picture.

I tell you.  He's worse than a two year old sometimes.

A Drive in the Country to Soothe the Soul

I dropped Mushu off at the groomers this morning and instead of going home after dropping him off, I decided I would take a drive out into the country.  I mean I live out in the country but it's always nice to see different countrysides.  I especially like driving out by Sherwood Park and seeing all the growth out there.  Amazing.  And I thought since I was heading out that way I would see if a friend was home who lives out on the 'Bear' Golf Course.  Turns out she wasn't home and no the below picture isn't her home.  Although it could be because oiy the size of the homes out there!  This would be the Golf Course Club House below.

                   

I don't do east and west and Township Roads and Range Roads, I do landmarks.  So I knew that I had to go down a certain highway and I would pass a big red barn and I would keep going until I saw a big antique sign and after that antique sign I would turn until I came to a deadend with a big red sign and at that big red sign I would go until I saw the funky fence and right after the funky fence I would turn again and.....god help me if the sign ever falls down or they change the fence.

Yeeehaww!  Pretty clear yellow sign huh?  Considering I was going about 140 clicks going by it.  Kidding!  Speed kills.

                           

I only had my macro lens today so all the pictures aren't the greatest, but the two horses above were so cute I had to stop and take their picture.  I had to face right into the sun to get the little mini horse so that's why you can barely see him.  Doesn't help he's black either.  I stepped into the ditch and went hip down into the snow so I just sat there snapping pictures of the two of them.  I wonder who was more curious of who?  And I love their thick fur winter coats yet.  Makes one wonder if there isn't still more winter ahead of us.

                         

The above pictures are of what I call a ranch.  I don't really know if it's technically a ranch, but it's got one big ass barn and lots of horses with blankets on and look at the size of the house.  Ok using my macro lens really sucks to get the right shot but this house is massive.  And I just love it.  Next time I'll bring my photo lens and you'll see a huge difference.  For right now, you'll just have to click on the pictures to 'sort of' get an idea of what I mean.

Stolen Shoes and No Pants

My youngest daughter gets home last night and informs me someone stole her shoes from the party she was at.  Party, get together, whatever.  Her shoes are gone, natta, no more.  AND she's wearing someone else's pants.  And this is how the conversation goes.......

Samantha:  "Mom someone stole my shoes at A's last night."

Me:  "What?  Why would someone steal someone else's shoes??"

Samantha:  "I don't know but I went to leave A's and my shoes were gone."

Me:  "Well that's sucky.  I don't understand why someone would want to take someone else's shoes.  That is so gross to me."

Samantha:  "And I'm wearing L's sister's pants."

Me:  "Wow, no shoes and someone else's pants.  Boy I remember parties like that back in my day."

Samantha:  "What?"

Me:  "Nothing.  Why are you wearing L's sisters pants?"

Samantha:  "Because we had a water fight today and my pants weren't dry by the time I had to go home so L's mom told me to just put L's sister's pants on."

Me:  "Nice mom."

Samantha:  "Ya she's ok.  And A's mom was so upset because someone stole my shoes.  I think she was really embarrassed it could happen in her home.  But I told her it was ok.  But I'm not really ok with it because I really REALLY liked those shoes and I'm kind of mad about it."

Me:  "Well who knows.  Maybe someone put them on by mistake and they'll bring them back.  Christ it can't be a girl who took them because most girls have such small feet.  Not like your big size 8/12-9's."

Samantha:  "Well a GUY isn't going to take them and wear them.  They're GIRL'S shoes."

Me:  "Ya, but maybe he's gay and just came out of the closet and it was your fancy cool shoes that did it."

Samantha:  "Mom can't you be serious for two minutes?"

Me:  "No I don't think so."

Samantha:  "Well personally.  I hope who ever took them wears them and I hope they wear them in barefeet."

Me:  "Ewww why would you hope they wear them in barefeet?"

Samantha:  "Because you know the Athlete's Foot I get all the time?  Well I hope they get it and their feet itch and burn and drive them crazy.  That'll teach them for taking my shoes."

Me:  "Yes it will.  And then all you have to do is look for a gay young man scratching his feet and you will have solved the case."

Samantha:  "You're not funny you know."

Me:  "I'm kind of funny."

No No No

OMG No!  I just came back on to so many emails regarding my #8 of my Thankful Thursday Thirteen.  What was I saying in my last email "I think before I spew" well maybe I didn't think too hard before writing that list.  Good grief.

It is no one in my sidebar I was talking about when I wrote that, and it is definitely no one who has emailed me.  LOL isn't that the way.  The person who it is is probably walking around saying "Well I just know it isn't me she's talking about."  And I say good for her.  That's the way to be.  Because who am I right?  It is just one person's opinion and there are probably hundred's of people who flock to her blog and love it.  I just happen to not be one of them.  No biggy.  To me anyhow.  I have no doubt she would feel the same about my blog.  And "I" am a-ok with that.

I've had the privilege of being invited to 9 different 'private' blogs.  And do you know out of those 9 blogs, I find out 3 have taken me off of their private list now.  I can only assume the timing was spot on to the posting of my Thankful Thursday Thirteen.  OMG I just about died laughing.  Do you see what I was talking about in my last post??  All women's blogs who blacklisted me thinking it was them I was talking about.  Dare to disagree.  I can't tell you how funny I think that is.  And before you write and ask me if my feelings were hurt.  Not in the least.  They don't want me reading their blogs then I certainly don't want to be there.  I guess I will just have to go and read the 20 million other blogs out there in blog land.  No boo hooing here.

But I will watch what I write from now on.  Mostly.  In all honesty I am 100% certain the women I was talking about does not even know I exist and that was why I felt I could write what I wrote.  I'm such a dork.  It never even dawns on me the people who visit me may think I'm talking about them.  I like everyone who visits me!  It is NEVER my intention to hurt people's feelings on here.  I can't stress this enough....I am just a sarcastic bitch, and it always comes out much harsher than it was meant.  Trust me, you will know when I'm serious.

So there.  That's as close as I will come to apologizing if I've hurt your feelings over stupid #8.

Good Friends and Open Minds

I love it.  Love it!  I love that I surround myself with people who love a good 'discussion'.  I can't do this with too many people.  Women especially.  Oh god no, women are a bit different when it comes to things like this.  I can have a 'discussion' with a man and all is still right with the world, but have the same 'discussion' with certain women.....and they get all pouty and snotty about it.  I have never been able to understand this.  So we disagree?  Who cares??  Doesn't mean I think you're a bitch and stupid.  Because being so closed-minded would make me stupid.  I feel anyway.  It just means we don't agree.  I am not one of those people who need everyone agreeing with me.  As a matter of fact I get very tired of people like that.  Can you imagine...saying in my best ho hum voice..."Oh you are the greatest."  Whatever you say is right."  "You are the best and only you are right and everyone else is wrong."  blah blah blah puke.

I also love the people who want me to change my mind.  You know the kind?  The kind who has it in their head that they will just beat you down and argue with you until you change your mind to theirs.  Love it.  Won't happen but love it.  My husband is good for this but I love him to bits anyhow.  He will argue and argue and argue and get so frustrated with me.  I say things like "I understand what you're saying Gregg but I still think this way."  It makes his hair stand on end that he can't change my mind to his way of thinking.  Oh sometimes he can.  If I listen and hear what he has to say and I agree with it, I am not above saying "Hmm you're right, I agree."  But I'm one of those people who don't say too much until I've really thought about what I'm going to say first.  I would rather say nothing then just spew off at the mouth.  So if I'm saying it, it's because I mean it and will stand by it.  And if I feel I was wrong I will be the first one to admit that too....and have on many occassions.

So I am lucky enough to have friends that love to talk freely and openly and no one has to worry about someone taking offence and pouting and carrying on or sitting in the corner eating worms.  We disagree but that's ok.  I have to say most of the time we agree, but occassionaly we will disagree.  And it's nice to be able to say "I understand what you are saying, but I just don't agree with you on that." or "Well I'm listening to what you have to say but I still stand by what I say." and it's all good.  And I love it.

So with that I say to a certain someone who I was on the phone with earlier.  Yes me.  On the phone.  Get out of town.  I say "I hear you.  I understand your concerns, but I am sticking by my decision and will go ahead as planned."  But thank you dear friend for voicing those concerns and telling me.  Because I'm ok with that.  I won't drop you as a friend for being open and honest with me.  Never.  I love you to bits.

Thankful Thursday Thirteen

Another week of Thankful Thursday Thirteen.  My how time flies when you really don't want it too.

Happy and Blue 2 gets credit when it comes to the Thankful Thursday Thirteen list.  It was his original idea to add the Thankful and I think it was a great idea.  There are also other versions to Thursday Thirteen's so I will lead you to Writing Aspirations to view one of those.  If you have a list of Thirteen's don't hesitate to jump in and participate.

1. I'm thankful I haven't been stinking drunk every day waiting for my surgery.  No wait....I WISH I was stinking drunk every day......
2. I'm thankful the dog is into the groomers tomorrow because he's been obsessed with digging in the mud on the side of the house lately, and I can't think of a better place to throw my money away then to the nice ladies at the groomers.
3. I'm thankful he has a vet appointment right after I throw my money away at the groomers because it won't give me enough time to stop being mad at the thought of him going home and digging in the mud again, and then I won't feel bad when he gets his booster shots.
4. I'm thankful I ended up buying that cool green jacket the other day for spring, because even though I look like a tall chubby leprechaun in it, I think it really brings out the green in my eyes.
5. I'm thankful I found a new pair of shoes the same time I bought my green jacket because even though my ingrown toenail hurts when I wear them, oooo weeee do they look smashing on!
6. I'm thankful there is only one week off for Spring Break.
7. I'm thankful I've been able to hold/control my tongue...or typing fingers...towards a certain someone lately because with as stressed as I've been, I'm worried once I go off there won't be any coming back and I will really hurt their feelings with my words.  Even though it's obvious they haven't taken my feelings into account.  Wait.  Maybe they have.  Bitch.
8. I'm thankful I've decided not to go back to a certain blog that I find unbearably hard to read because the woman acts like a spoiled rotten stuck-up....well you know.  I want to type comments telling her to be nice, but then I stop myself because who really cares what she writes.  It's her blog just like this is my blog and who am I to tell anyone to stop being mean.  When in fact sometimes I can be quite mean.  But still.  She bugs me. (Added to say:  No one on my sidebar!!)
9. I am extremely thankful I found this blog though.  Hours and hours of entertainment.  What is it about a cowboy that makes my heart go pitter patter.  Another time, another life, I would like to be her.  Calf nuts and all. 
10. I'm thankful Spring Break is only one week long and it's not because I mind the kids being around, I love my kids being around.....I just don't like the mess they leave around when they're here all the time.  Spring Break in their minds = free time to not do dishes, pick up after themselves, etc.  I get cranky and tell them to smarten up and they say "ya ya".  It's incredibly tiring.
11. I'm thankful I was given a nice review over here because I did want someone else's opinion on maybe some things I could do differently on my blog.  As it is I'm long-winded, which I already knew and was going to try working on.  I just don't know how.  But I'm working on it.  Right after this long post of course.  Oh and the next 'question' post.  After that I'll try and be less winded.  There's no hope for me.  Stop!
12. I'm thankful the week is almost over with and I am still cold free.  Michael and Samantha have been fighting colds and I've been doing everything in my power to stay away from them and catching their germs.  One more week to go.
13. I'm thankful I saw a glimpse of a show called '24' during the day yesterday because even though I've never heard of it before and came in near the end, it was SUCH an amazing show and I think I could get hooked on it big time.  But damn they didn't show if the father killed the boy and if Jack got to the radioactive plants in time.....good grief.  Hooked I tell you.

Jelly Belly Bloated Tummy

I was in Hallmark yesterday and while I was looking around I saw packages of Jelly Belly's.  Wow.  Jelly Belly's.  It's been years since I've eaten Jelly Belly's.  So I bought two packages.  And ate the majority of one package already.  Not all at once.  I ate most of the clear yellow ones first, then worked on the turquoise ones, then the purple, then green....and as you can tell from the picture above....there are still so many left.  I do the same with Smarties.  One color at a time.  There's no other way.

Problem is.  I am now feeling so nauseas I wish I could just puke and get it over with already.

Pre-Op Extravaganza

I went to the hospital today and all I got was this fud ugly red bracelet.  That I wear until my surgery.  And it doesn't go with anything I have to wear.  And they put it on my right wrist which means I had to use the camera with my left hand and I really suck at taking pictures with my left hand.

Today was pre-op day?  Pre-torture day?  I can't remember what they called it now.  I received a call last week and it was scheduled for today at 8:15am.  Bright and early.  Or in my case, not so bright.  Once I got to the hospital and pointed in the right direction I was right on....10 minutes late.

I'm very proud of myself.  I only played with the blood pressure machine once when no one was looking and I didn't get too embarrassed when I fell asleep waiting for the EKG lady to come give me the test.  Curled up in the fetal position and drooling away, those beds can be mighty cozy when you are sleep deprived.  I told her to 'go away' in my sleep induced fog when she shook me to wake me up and she laughed and said I made her day.  I have no idea why I made her day but the 15-20 minutes of Zzz's was like heaven for this body of mine.

I hate surprises and I hate the unknown so this pre-op thing is the greatest thing.  Never having been through anything like this, I found it invaluable.  And after all the tests, turns out I'm healthy as a horse.  Well except for the huge fibroid and the symptons that go along with that, but you know what I mean.  EKG was exomoondo, blood pressure exactly where it should be and 4 viles of blood will no doubt come back good as well.  The nurse said just looking at me the iron test will most likely come back low, so it won't come as a big surprise when I get a call on that, but she said to continue taking my iron and vitamins right up until surgery.  It was great to be reassured the surgery will put all this low iron nonsense behind me once and for all.

I have to add this in this already long post because I feel it's really important.  The symptons I have been feeling for so long now are not age related.  I have had two doctors tell me this, my GP and my OB/GYN.  My confidence in the past day had been burst so I asked the nurse again today.  Her words "The symptons you are experiencing are NOT age related Joy and don't let anyone tell you they are."  She said it infuriates her when women put their health at risk because they think, or they've been told, it's just a natural part of getting old.  Getting old is one thing, suffering is another.  And I'm mad now and couldn't agree more.  I waited much too long thinking my symptons were age related when in fact all these years I've had a big fat fibroid growing inside me.  I will yell it from the rooftops and put anyone in their place who tells me differently.  Aging is one thing....suffering is another.  My hopes are back up and my bubble inflated again and to anyone out there who is suffering, get checked out.  Cripes if I can do it anyone can do it because I am the worst when it comes to doctors.

So every single thing was explained to me about before, during and after surgery and they only lost me once when they said something about how important it was to have a completely empty bowel for the operation.  Ya.  I kind of zoned out with that one.  The nurse could tell I was a bit uncomfortable but assured me it was no big deal.  Sure.  And when I said "No one told me about that when I signed up for this.  What the hell??" she laughed and then proceeded to explain in greater detail how close the organs were to each other and a bowel that is full could easily be nicked during the operation.  So fine.  FINE!  But I am NOT going to like it.

She said there are two things she can't stress enough to women who go through a hysterectomy and they are 1)  TAKE the medication that is given to you for the pain.  Some women, like me, who would rather stick a hot poker in their eye before taking drugs are not doing themselves any favor by not taking the drugs.  It won't entirely take the pain away, but it will make it bearable and less stressful and as we all know a stressed body isn't likely to heal as fast as a wonderfully drugged up body that is a bit calmer.  And 2)  walk as soon as you can after the surgery.  The nurses will want to get you up and a friend has already told me this, but you will not want to get up.  You will hurt but they will want you to get up and walk.  And it's because they want your bowel and bladder to start working again asap.  Apparently having the abdomen open like that instantly makes the bowel freeze (I think that's the word she used?).  Also, because the abdomen is opened you will be one gassed up patient when all sewn up.  Her exact words to me were "There has never been a greater time to fart and fart proud then after surgery."  The nurses will congratulate you and it's because when you fart it means your bowel is coming to life again.  Who knew?  Not me.  So heaven knows Gregg has farted in front of me enough times in the past 20 years so I guess I finally get my chance to pay him back.  Good grief.  Is there no humility left.

I call the day before to see what time I go in on the 5th and there is always a chance the surgery could be postponed.  Good to know this one.  Because I thought it was written in blood and would have been one miserable soul to get my nerves all in order only to have the surgery postponed.  Now I can prepare for both.

No colds.  Do.  Not.  Catch.  A.  Cold.  Surgery will be postponed if you catch a cold.  Good to know this one too.  So I would just like to tell my family who have made fun of me over the years for carrying my little bottles of antibacterial soap around in my purse.....pffffft.

Nutjob in Ladies Underwear

I wanted to hit the stores nice and early today because...well because I can't stand all the people when the stores are busy.  Makes me cranky.

I'm in The Bay at Southgate looking for a nice light robe because I want to bring a robe to the hospital with me next week.  I already have a robe, but it's big and fluffy and heavy and great for curling up on the couch with a good book, but not for dragging around a hospital.  I wanted something lighter.  And I was doing good too.  I was finding all kinds of different robes and sleepwear when a tiny little lady comes up to me and asks if I could follow her over to the underwear...which was only about 10 feet away....because she wanted a pair of underwear that was hanging on the wall and she couldn't reach them.  Awww.  Poor little short thing.  I said no.

Noooooo I didn't.  She was as sweet as pie and even though I could barely understand her her smile alone was enough to have me follow her.  I get her "do" pairs of underwear down, she shakes my hand, and just as I was about to hand her the underwear this man comes out of nowhere and slaps the underwear out of my hands and starts screaming at this tiny little lady.

What to do what to do.  He's screaming.  Screaming at the top of his lungs that he has been waiting "over there" for 15 minutes and then had to come looking for her because she wasn't coming at the specified time he had told her to come and she was making him wait and how could she be so stupid and so inconsiderate.....and everytime she went to answer he would raise his hand to her.

Good grief.  They had to be in their 60's.  I always get nationalities wrong so I'm guessing Pakistan?  Does it really matter though what nationality they were.  Mean is mean.  And of course the hair on the back of my neck stood up when the first hand went up.  What.  To.  Do.  Frick!

The lady went to say something again, his hand came up again and I calmly.....but with what I call that 'mom' tone, my kids will know what I'm talking about here.....said "Stop".  He stopped and turned to look at me.  Cripes I was standing right there looking at the underwear on the ground he so rudely smacked from my hands.  I prayed to the gene pool gods up above for making me 5'7" and then to the shoe gods up above for adding another good inch to my height, I looked him straight in his ugly old grizzled face, raised one eyebrow, smiled and again calmly said "Shhhhhh you old fool".

Obviously by the look on his face he thought I was completely mad.  I should have done a Michael Jackson dance to really top it off, but then that would make me completely mad.  And I'd probably pull something.

He stopped ranting and headed towards the door with his wife running behind him.  What else do you say.  I hope she's alright?  I hope she gets the help she needs to leave him?  I hope it has a happy ending?  Reality says at the age those two were, the best I might be able to hope for is she lives a really great life.....when he's dead.