A Spot of T

Answering Comments

Still can't comment on my own blog so here's a great big thanks for all the well wishes.  I read over that post and thought "god Joy you sound so whiney" but whatever.  It's my blog and if I want to sound whiney then by god I'm going to sound whiney.  Even though I hate and despise whiney and want to cut my fingers off for doing so, but ya.  Thanks again everyone.  Once the surgery is over with I assure everyone I will be back to my normal self.  My family tells me I can't even focus lately...more than usual for all you smart alecs out there....and I just want this whole thing behind me so I can focus on other things.  Like puppies.  No.  I'm not getting a puppy.

Let's see here.  In one comment Heather asked how old my youngest daughter was.  Samantha is 16.  I'm not allowed to say 15 anymore because it's way too close to her birthday to still say she's 15.  Even though technically she is only 15 and will be 15 until May 17th, which to me is still far enough away to warrant saying 15.  But in a 15 year old's mind it is just way too close to 16 to still say 15.  So.  Ummm.  My youngest is 16.  Her brother Michael is 17 and her older sister is 18.  Oh god here we go again.  Or 19.  Aarggh!  Yes close in age, yes they are extremely close siblings and no I'm not sure I would have them that close in age if I had to do it over again.  Hmmm ok maybe I would.  That one I'm not sure about.  I'm still tired just thinking about it.

Emily asked what a quad was.  And since I had to ask who Jessie Metcalf was (Desperate Housewives - the lawn boy Gabby had an affair with.  One cutey patootey for sure!) I guess it's fair that someone wouldn't know what a quad was.

                           

Four wheel motorized bikes.  Glorified toys?  Man toys?  Take your pick.  Lots of people out in the country have them.  I use mine (the blue one in the picture) to go and get the mail (community mailboxes in the subdivision) and I also use it around the yard.  I have a little trailer I pull behind mine and I can put the water tank in it, fill it and water all the plants and trees on the acreage.  I also use the trailer to put weeds and such in.  A handy little/big unit for sure.

Now my son....and technically his father.  Well him and his friends use their quads to go fast.  Do stunts.  Climb things.  Go in the mud.  That's it.  Go fast, do stunts, climb and run through mud and water.  My quad puttering around the yard will last for years yet.  My son's quad.  I'm not so sure about.  Although he babies it like he gave birth to it so who knows.

Fun entertainment for teenagers and we've always looked at it as we'd rather have them out busy with quads and snowmobiles then hanging out in town.

First Weekend Over With....Check

 

We are officially over the first weekend of Spring Break.  And do you know what that means?

It means my youngest is already completely bored and looking for things to do and it also means my son and his friends have gone through about 5 tanks of gas on their quads, and literally eaten me out of house and home in three days.  Let the fun begin.

It was a gorgeous day out on sunday and the entire subdivision was abuzz with the sound of quads, motorcyles, trikes and every other motorized thing young and old could find to bring out.  Now I don't mind the sound of these things.  It's why, I feel, people move out to the country....to be able to have a bit of freedom to ride their quads without bothering anyone.  Personally I love hearing people having fun.  It's no big deal for me to sit on my deck reading a book and hear the neighbour kids riding their little quads round and round in circles for hours on end.  To be honest, it wasn't long ago the T kids were doing the same thing.  It tells me the kids are out enjoying the weather and most importantly keeping out of trouble.  Mostly.  I guess you can still get into trouble if you aren't respectful of other people's property, but we really don't get too much of that around here.

So now the week is upon us and I need to find something for my youngest to do.  Way too much like her mother that one.  In the jumping-bean-can't-sit-still way not the likes-lots-of-people-around-and-the-more-the-merrier way.  We'll find something to do, although I have a feeling she'll get busy with her friends and I won't need to do anything but drive her and her possy around wherever they want to go.  Afterall, it's written in my job description.  **Must be at beck and call 24 hours a day**.  It's in fine print.  At the very bottom.  But it's there.

And Mushu?  Well Mushu is saving up his energy for a trip to the groomers and vet on friday.  A big day indeed.  Which means...in his eyes....he needs lots of rest and relaxation beforehand.

Harmony

I saw this on Blu's blog....and I couldn't agree more.

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A Little Bit of the Mailbag

The overwhelming number of emails I've had lately are asking how I'm doing with the upcoming hysterectomy on the 5th.  So what the heck right, may as well talk about it.  Get it out there.  I have to say, this is one time I wish all these emails were actually put into comments because it's very obvious to me lots of women are going through the symptons I have been going through and don't know where to turn.  I have only one advice when it comes to not knowing where to turn.  Your doctor.  Turn to your doctor.  If your doctor doesn't listen or you don't feel he/she is doing anything for you....find another one.  That's it.  No other advice really when it comes to fibroids.  I guess read.  I have gone to so many sites and blogs it's not even funny.  I do the same with a vehicle so this is nothing new to me.  I'm a person who searches and researches things to death.  I will say though, sometimes you can go a bit too far.  I was on one site and had to get off because of all the hysterectomy horror stories.  I'm not going into my surgery blind, I'm well aware of the risks, but good grief I don't need to read story after story of perforated bowels or bladders or other such things.  Oiy!  There really is such a thing as 'too much information'.

Some fibroids are liveable and others the size of mine need to have something done with.  Unfortunately I only have one option...well actually two but the second was to leave it and live with it and even my OB said it wasn't much of an option.  If your fibroid is smaller, look into other solutions.  Embolization is one I 'might' have considered had my fibroid been smaller.  But I doubt it.  The percentage of fibroids that grow back I really think I would have gone the same route I am now.  But I am also 43 years old.  Age may not seem like a big deal but it is when you're dealing with scooping out a uterus, cervix and ovaries...or in my case....just one ovary.  No matter what people tell you.  It is a huge decision.  Mine was made easy with the size of my fibroid.  I'm so lucky.

So where to start.  I guess as always, with the negative.  To the two or three people...thank god....who have written to me telling me to stop being so nervous because it's no big deal and you've had this or that surgery and those surgeries were so much worse, so a hysterectomy is like a walk in the park.  Well.  I have this to say to you.  Shame on you.  A hysterectomy is major abdominal surgery.  To the one lady who said it would be exactly like having a c-section so get over it.  Idiot.  Goof.  Ok came back on here to change it to goof because I felt bad saying idiot.  I think I'm losing my touch.  It is nothing like a c-section.  Nothing.  I don't care if you say stuff like that, but back it up lady.  Get your facts straight and then we'll have something to talk about.  Yes there are worse surgeries out there, but I'm not going through those, I'm going through this.  But.  And isn't there always a but.  I guess I should thank you two or three people because you have certainly given me insight into what NOT to say to someone in the future who will be going through surgery.

So for the rest of the people who have been emailing....and calling!!....I am just fine.  I tend to go hermit in situations like this.  I don't know why, I just want to be by myself and get my head together and then all is well.  Some days are worse then others when it comes to the nerves, but that is very normal.  My doctor told me the last week is always the worst, and both doctors were telling me it's because we have a 'fight' or 'flight' mechanism built into our systems.  When danger is near it's this mechanism that keeps us there to fight or tells us to flee, flee like the wind.  The adrenaline surge is amazing, and it also takes a whole lot of energy out of a person.  When it comes to surgery and the unknown, we want to flee.  It's just natural.  I've always been a fighter, so I don't want to flee yet.  Talk to me next week and I might be a blubbering fool.  But I doubt it.

I think it also helps when you feel so lousy.  You just keep telling yourself the surgery is needed and hopefully this bump in the road will be what it takes to get you on the road to good health.  That's the way I'm looking at it anyway.  When I stand for an hour and can't stand anymore because my back hurts so much, I think, will this soon be over?  When I'm peeing every half an hour or so I say to myself, is it possible I will be able to sleep an entire night without having to get up??  When that time of the month comes and I'm doubled over in agony for days on end and bleeding all over the place, I tell myself there's got to be a better way to live.  And there is.  But it's after surgery.  So it helps me get through.  And finally the anemia.  If anything else gets me through, it's the thought of not being so incredibly tired all the time anymore.  The heart palpatations where I think I'm having a heart attack, the dizziness, the fogginess, the really scary pale skin and dark circles, the list goes on and on when it comes to anemia.  I want my old energy back.  Because even though I've suffered for years now....I still remember what it was like to have energy.  And I want it back in the worst way.

So to those who know someone who is going into surgery.  Just listen.  Don't try and make them feel better by saying it's no big deal, because it is a very big deal.  To them.  I have received so many nice emails telling me to hang in there and it will be all right and I'm being thought of and that's what a person wants to hear.  Because otherwise we think you don't care, and stubborn people like me will cut you right out of their life for being such inconsiderate ignorant friends when I've been nothing but there for you for all these years.  But you know.  That's just me.  In our pre-surgery bubble world, we are scared to death and want to hear nice encouraging words.

And how can I end this without answering the people who have asked if Gregg will come home for this surgery.  See.  This is a time I want to get all sarcastic and ignorant.  But I won't because people are just asking and I believe in asking if you want to know something.  So yes.  Gregg will be home.  He will be home for as long as it takes after my surgery.  Whether it be one, two or three weeks, he will be here....at my beck and call.  My son also told me the other day he is taking time off work so he can be here to help and told me he was going to buy a bell for me to have by my bedside.  My oldest daughter is taking the 5th off so she can be with me and hubby before surgery and of course she will be coming out to see how mom's doing as much as she can.  And my youngest.  Well all the kids are pretty nervous but my Sammy is the baby and she is 'really' nervous for her mom.

I try and be as open and honest as I can and never having gone through surgery I just tell her it's all new to me too.  Then we joke.  I tell her I might be a little cranky because I'm the type of person who likes to be in control and I will definitely not be in control throughout this whole ordeal.  I don't like it but that's the way it's going to have to be til I get better.  Plus I come from good German/Dutch gene pools and we make good strong people in my family so that helps.  The kids joke I might be a bit funny when I'm hopped up on drugs and I tell them I make no promises to be funny.  It's all good and I have a great family who will be here for me and put up with my cranky patient attitude and my hopped up on drug moods.

My Stick

Going over to Sirdar's blog today had me thinking of my first job.  It was a great job.

I was 8 or 9 years old and it was at a dog kennel down the road from us.  We lived out in the country and with my parents never around, I would walk to the kennel after school and on weekends.  Not only did I love seeing the animals, but I loved the walk to get to work too.  Rain, snow or shine I just loved the walk down that road.  There were trees on either side of the road shielding me from any wind that happened to be out that day and the peace and quiet would be heavenly.  It's probably why I love walking out in the country to this day.  But reminiscing also brought up the memory of the time I found a stick at work and started playing with it.

I didn't know the stick was dynamite of course.  It just looked like a big...I don't know....tube-stick-thing to me.  Brown.  And when I peeled some of the paper away I stopped because it reminded me of one of those erasers...way back when...you would peel to let more of the eraser out.  And I didn't want my stick to unfold so I left the really hard wrapper alone.

But because it was hard, it was great to smack on the leaves of the trees as I went by them, drag on the ground and make faces in the dirt with, hit rocks with to see how far I could make them go....well you get the idea.  To an 8 year old, it was a great little stick.

It wasn't until I came walking up the road to the kennel one day that the husband, of the husband and wife team who owned the kennel, came out and said "Hey Joy, you practising baton or something?  What is that that you're throwing up in the air?"

He was a little ways away and we kept walking towards each other.  Until I said "No.  It's just a stick I found outside the shed back there.  I liked the wrapping and it was just laying there so I took it."

Now my memory isn't so great any more, but I can still picture him turning ghost white when he realized what I was talking about.  He told me to "STOP THROWING THE STICK!!" and came running towards me like a bat out of hell.  He grabbed me, picked me up and ran into the kennel.  Leaving my cool stick behind on the ground.  Bastard.  I was so pissed off.  Because of course me being me.....I just knew he wanted my stick for himself.

Ya.  I come to find out years later he got in a whole butt load of trouble for having a box of stolen dynamite on his property.  But you know.  To a kid.  That was one heck of a little stick to play with for about a week.

Bored

Bored bored booooooooored.

In exactly half an hour I will be taking my daughter to her orthodontist appointment.  I will sit at said orthodontist and pretend I am reading a magazine when in fact I am secretly listening to other people's conversations.  My attention will then turn towards the ladies behind the desk at the orthodontists.

I think there are way too many ladies behind the desk and I always try and figure out which lady does what.  One lady answers the phone and clicks away on the computer, so does the other lady.  One lady is the lady who talks to you about payments and such but then there's this other lady.  Pretty, young, but I haven't been able to figure out what she does.  She dresses nice.  She's all smiles and stuff.  But what does she do?  That is the question I ask myself every eight weeks.  What do you dooooo?  I feel with all the money we've spent with three sets of braces now, this lady should be mine because I'm sure I've paid for her three times over again.  I could put her to good use but she's not mine, she's his.  And I want to know what she does.  Maybe today I will find out.  Because I'm bored and have nothing else to do with my time then to crack the case of the one-too-many-ladies-behind-the-desk.

Speaking of bored.  After daughter's ortho appointment I will sing merrily as I drive to my favorite Greenhouse.  My daughter will turn up the music on the radio hoping I will stop singing.  But I won't stop.  Because one must sing merrily when you know a treat like this is coming up.  My daughter will be bored out of her mind as I spend probably an hour in my favorite greenhouse and because I am an exceptional mother.  I won't care.

After I sing merrily and not care about my daughter's boredom, I will probably feed her after my greenhouse extravaganza.  She will want to go to McDonald's but it will be over my dead body so we will most likely go to Tim Hortons for a somewhat healthier meal.  She will complain and tell me I'm no fun and I will once again remind her this is my job and it's what I live for.  To be no fun.

Because I will then be pissed off that she called me no fun, I will make her come into Michael's craft store with me.  I will tell her we don't need a cart or a basket because I won't be buying anything and then I will make her carry useless things that I don't need around the store.  Then just when she can't carry any more I will tell her I have changed my mind and she needs to go put everything back.  Call me no fun will you.

Then I'll stop at a Hallmarks store because I haven't gone in one in quite some time and I want to see what they have for Easter stuff.  I'm not putting any Easter stuff out this year because I'm bored and slightly cranky and mostly side-tracked lately.  But maybe I will buy something so I can put it out next year when I will be all chipper like.

My daughter at this point will tell me I'm killing her because she's so bored and torturing her won't make me feel any better.  But I assure her she couldn't be more wrong.

So that's how I see the afternoon playing out.  I won't get into how I will take my daughter home or even to her friends and then go grocery shopping.  How I will probably pick on the produce guy and possibly make him cry.  I'll save that for another day.

Thankful Thursday Thirteen

It's thursday and that means it's another week of Thankful Thursday Thirteen.  Happy and Blue 2 gets credit when it comes to the Thankful Thursday Thirteen list.  It was his original idea to add the Thankful and I think it was a great idea.  There are also other versions to Thursday Thirteen's so I will lead you to Writing Aspirations to view one of those.  If you have a list of Thirteen's don't hesitate to jump in and participate.

1. I'm thankful I'm still bored.  Because that means I've been taking it easy and I need to take it easy once in awhile.
2. I'm thankful I wasn't too bored to go and get my hair cut today because my hair was really starting to look butt ugly.  But now it looks simply maaaaavelous.
3. I'm thankful even though I've been so bored I could actually sit and read a book.  I'm not going to mention the name of the book because it was so boring I kept falling asleep everytime I would start to read it.  The book was put away for another day when I think I can get into it more.  Which may be never.  Because it oozes boring.
4. I'm thankful the weather was so nice today because the great big heavy winter coat I was wearing didn't make me look stupid at all.
5. I'm thankful it's been nice out but not so nice that it's all sloppy and muddy.  Because even with the weather we've been having I've been going through the car wash a lot because my truck gets dirty and I don't like a dirty truck.  And if it was really sloppy out, well, I may as well just camp out in front of the car wash.  And I'm too busy being bored to have time for that.
6. I'm thankful my son took my daughter to her friends because he was on the computer and I kept pacing back and forth outside the office hoping he would get the hint that I needed to get on the computer so I could post my Thankful Thursday Thirteen today.
7. I'm thankful the kids are in school a lot because I don't like to share my computer.
8. I'm thankful Spring Break is now upon us because that means I won't have any time on the computer and I'll now have to wait til all hours of the night just so I can post on my blog.  Which will be quick and fast posting because.  You know.  I've been so bored so there isn't much to type about.  But still.
9. I'm thankful my daughter has an Orthodontist appointment tomorrow because that means I can go to my best favorite Greenhouse in all the world after she is done.  And I like that.  To be one with the plants and gifties.
10. I'm thankful I haven't been too bored to delve into any crafts because then I'd make a mess but then I'd be too bored to clean up the mess and then it would just be a vicious circle.
11. I'm thankful even though I'm bored out of my mind.....I still make sense.  Because otherwise people would just think I'm writing this drunk or something.
12. I'm thankful I slowed down when I went by that lady with the nice hat today because even though I had this incredible overwhelming urge to hit the mud puddle going 80.....I didn't.  And I know deep down hat lady really appreciated it.
13. I'm thankful this is over because now I'm bored of doing this and need to go find something else to be bored about.

Random Thoughts of Someone Who is Bored

So far....I AM Smarter than a Fifth Grader.  Go back to what you were doing now.

I watched The Departed last night and it was ok.  I thought the ending was stupid.  That leaves two more movies I want to get and watch....Blood Diamond and The Painted Veil.

I think the dog drinks out of my glass of water when I put it downstairs on the coffee table and have to come back up to the kitchen to get something.  I can't prove it but I told him I know he's doing it.

I went for my mammogram last week and the girls are a-ok.  Yes.  I knew you all wanted to know that.  Next is an eye appointment.  Ok sure.  I'll let you know how that goes as well.

I can't remember what day of the week it was last week...but I stayed in my pajamas the entire day.  Yes I did too.

I can't stop thinking about this post Emily wrote.  I did all kinds of stupid things as a kid and used to think I was the only one on earth who had the urge to....oh I don't know....do things like open a vehicle door while it's moving, say.  I'm not saying she did.  I'm just saying.  I wrote about one urge I had...and acted on.....but I guess those urges don't go away even when you're older.  For instance, I was in the carwash today and had the same overwhelming urge I do every single time I'm in a carwash.....to open the passenger side window.

I was in London Drugs yesterday and a couple in there were calling each other babe.  "Hey babe, should we get this kind of shampoo?"  "I don't know babe, what do you think?"  "Come on babe, pick."  "No babe you pick."  "No you babe."  "No you babe."  "Baby just pick k because I can't decide."  "No baby you pick because I don't want to get the wrong thing."  "Oh babe."  "What babe?"  "Oh babe."  They turned around and caught me looking at them with my mouth hanging open staring at them.  I raised my eyebrow tilted my head back and gave them a big smile and they smiled back because they seemed like really nice people.  Then I heard them say "Ok so babe what do you want?"  "No really babe I can't decide."  "Ok babe, maybe we should get this one."  "Ok babe, because I trust whatever you want babe."  "Well I trust whatever you want too baby so next time it's your turn to pick k babe?"  "Ok baby."  I'll tell you what.  I'm all babed out right about now.

I was talking to Gregg on the phone the other day and can't for the life of me remember what I said, but his reply was "Well Joy, sometimes you get the chicken other times you get the feathers."  Can someone please explain what the hell that means to me because I couldn't stop laughing long enough to ask hubby.

I am going to go out of my mind if someone in this house...and by that I mean my son.....doesn't take two flippin minutes to take some lightbulbs and go down the driveway and replace all the burnt out lights.

Speaking of pitch dark and burglaries.....our green snowmobile has been sitting up front for a few days now and when I left this morning it wasn't there.  Note to self.....look around back to see if snowmobile has been put away.  If not.  Call police.

Another Note to self....put snowpants on, warm parka, toque, mitts and bring out son's air gun that hurts like hell and I'm an incredible shot with.  Sit on deck and wait for the sonofabitch I call a dog that keeps coming into our yard lately to chase the squirrels, crap and sit under the deck at night and bark non-stop.  Better yet, go find dog's owner and let them know how incredibly irresponsible it is to let their dog run around wild like that.....and then shoot THEM with the air gun in the hopes they understand how infuriating it is to have to pick up other people's dog shit.

I had to crawl up on the quad today to get to the knob to turn the heat on in the garage because my son took it upon himself to turn it off over the weekend.  Try and picture a really graceful elephant swan up on a sturdy quad but having to stretch over it, some boards, empty gas cans and a huge barbeque to reach the knob to the heater.  Now picture that same swan trying to get back down.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Everybody Hurts

I was over visiting Joystory a few days ago and saw this YouTube.  The memories this song brought back.  Wow.  I remember it well in the early 90's and played it all the time.  I know most people think it's so depressing it hurts the soul, but I thought it was brilliant at the time and still do to this day.  Apparently aimed at teenagers when it was written, I'm sure every age group out there can relate to this song.

Everybody hurts at some point and time.  But there's something incredibly soothing in knowing we're not alone.

R.E.M. - "Everybody Hurts"

When your day is long, and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough, of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries, and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)

When you think you've had too much, of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own, in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much, of this life, to hang on

Well everybody hurts, sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts, sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

Parmesan Croutons

Finally, some Parmesan Croutons to go with our soup.  Another huge success although personally, I would have these with a tomato-based soup next time.

This recipe is from The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook by Ina Garten

PARMESAN CROUTONS

1 baguette

1/4 cup good olive oil, plain or flavoured with basil and garlic

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

3/4 cup freshly shredded parmesan cheese (3 ounces)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Slice the baguette diagonally into 1/4-inch-thick slices.  Depending on the size of the baguette, you should get about 20 to 25 slices.

Lay the slices in one layer on a baking sheet and brush each with olive oil and sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper.  Sprinkle with shredded Parmesan.  Bake the toasts for 15 to 20 minutes until they are browned and crisp.  Serve at room temperature.