Pre-Op Extravaganza

I went to the hospital today and all I got was this fud ugly red bracelet.  That I wear until my surgery.  And it doesn't go with anything I have to wear.  And they put it on my right wrist which means I had to use the camera with my left hand and I really suck at taking pictures with my left hand.

Today was pre-op day?  Pre-torture day?  I can't remember what they called it now.  I received a call last week and it was scheduled for today at 8:15am.  Bright and early.  Or in my case, not so bright.  Once I got to the hospital and pointed in the right direction I was right on....10 minutes late.

I'm very proud of myself.  I only played with the blood pressure machine once when no one was looking and I didn't get too embarrassed when I fell asleep waiting for the EKG lady to come give me the test.  Curled up in the fetal position and drooling away, those beds can be mighty cozy when you are sleep deprived.  I told her to 'go away' in my sleep induced fog when she shook me to wake me up and she laughed and said I made her day.  I have no idea why I made her day but the 15-20 minutes of Zzz's was like heaven for this body of mine.

I hate surprises and I hate the unknown so this pre-op thing is the greatest thing.  Never having been through anything like this, I found it invaluable.  And after all the tests, turns out I'm healthy as a horse.  Well except for the huge fibroid and the symptons that go along with that, but you know what I mean.  EKG was exomoondo, blood pressure exactly where it should be and 4 viles of blood will no doubt come back good as well.  The nurse said just looking at me the iron test will most likely come back low, so it won't come as a big surprise when I get a call on that, but she said to continue taking my iron and vitamins right up until surgery.  It was great to be reassured the surgery will put all this low iron nonsense behind me once and for all.

I have to add this in this already long post because I feel it's really important.  The symptons I have been feeling for so long now are not age related.  I have had two doctors tell me this, my GP and my OB/GYN.  My confidence in the past day had been burst so I asked the nurse again today.  Her words "The symptons you are experiencing are NOT age related Joy and don't let anyone tell you they are."  She said it infuriates her when women put their health at risk because they think, or they've been told, it's just a natural part of getting old.  Getting old is one thing, suffering is another.  And I'm mad now and couldn't agree more.  I waited much too long thinking my symptons were age related when in fact all these years I've had a big fat fibroid growing inside me.  I will yell it from the rooftops and put anyone in their place who tells me differently.  Aging is one thing....suffering is another.  My hopes are back up and my bubble inflated again and to anyone out there who is suffering, get checked out.  Cripes if I can do it anyone can do it because I am the worst when it comes to doctors.

So every single thing was explained to me about before, during and after surgery and they only lost me once when they said something about how important it was to have a completely empty bowel for the operation.  Ya.  I kind of zoned out with that one.  The nurse could tell I was a bit uncomfortable but assured me it was no big deal.  Sure.  And when I said "No one told me about that when I signed up for this.  What the hell??" she laughed and then proceeded to explain in greater detail how close the organs were to each other and a bowel that is full could easily be nicked during the operation.  So fine.  FINE!  But I am NOT going to like it.

She said there are two things she can't stress enough to women who go through a hysterectomy and they are 1)  TAKE the medication that is given to you for the pain.  Some women, like me, who would rather stick a hot poker in their eye before taking drugs are not doing themselves any favor by not taking the drugs.  It won't entirely take the pain away, but it will make it bearable and less stressful and as we all know a stressed body isn't likely to heal as fast as a wonderfully drugged up body that is a bit calmer.  And 2)  walk as soon as you can after the surgery.  The nurses will want to get you up and a friend has already told me this, but you will not want to get up.  You will hurt but they will want you to get up and walk.  And it's because they want your bowel and bladder to start working again asap.  Apparently having the abdomen open like that instantly makes the bowel freeze (I think that's the word she used?).  Also, because the abdomen is opened you will be one gassed up patient when all sewn up.  Her exact words to me were "There has never been a greater time to fart and fart proud then after surgery."  The nurses will congratulate you and it's because when you fart it means your bowel is coming to life again.  Who knew?  Not me.  So heaven knows Gregg has farted in front of me enough times in the past 20 years so I guess I finally get my chance to pay him back.  Good grief.  Is there no humility left.

I call the day before to see what time I go in on the 5th and there is always a chance the surgery could be postponed.  Good to know this one.  Because I thought it was written in blood and would have been one miserable soul to get my nerves all in order only to have the surgery postponed.  Now I can prepare for both.

No colds.  Do.  Not.  Catch.  A.  Cold.  Surgery will be postponed if you catch a cold.  Good to know this one too.  So I would just like to tell my family who have made fun of me over the years for carrying my little bottles of antibacterial soap around in my purse.....pffffft.