Slightly Cranky

I got up this morning and sat at the table sulking.  Gregg was making breakfast and started laughing at me.  That helped.  I caught a glimpse of myself in the microwave and didn't like the rooster tail that seemed to be growing out of the back of my head, so I told him I was going for a shower and schlumped away down the hall.  He laughed harder and said a shower would probably be good.  Jackass.  Why is he a jackass?  I don't know.

When I was done my shower, I came out to bacon and eggs and toast and orange juice.  And I still sat there sulking.  Not really sulking I guess.  Just slightly annoyed.  I get annoyed because I don't have control over how fast I'm healing.  Control issues.  You think?

I did feel better though because today....today I shaved my legs.  And pits.  Nothing I hate more then hairy armpits and legs.  But it's the first day since surgery I felt comfortable enough to bend down far enough to shave the old legs.  Yes, I missed some spots.  And I think if I were to look close enough, my one leg has a mohawk down it.

Now I know it's hard to believe I'm cranky.  Being I'm always so sweet and everything.  But it's true.  I'm well enough to be bored out of my mind, but still sore enough to not be able to do too much yet.  Damn.  And on top of everything I have a husband who is laughing at me everytime I shuffle by him.  He's surprised I'm doing as well as I am, but me being me, I want more.  I go to pick something off the floor I've dropped and I look up and he's smiling at me.  I ask him what he's looking at and he laughs and says "Nothing, you're just funny that's all."  I know.  I just crack me up too.

He's heading back out of town early monday morning and keeps asking me if I need him to stay longer.  I'm guessing if it's to the point where he's getting on my nerves, then it probably means I'm well enough for him to go.  I can't remember the last time he was home for so long.  Don't get me wrong, it's been completely great having him here.  But I keep bumping into him because everywhere I turn.....he's there.  Nothing bad about that.  I'm just not used to it.  He isn't either.  I'm sure if you'd ever get it out of him, he would say he was ready to go back out of town.  Back to his very quiet life in BC.  No kids, no wife and all the craziness that comes with having a family.  Just peace and quiet....and the channels HE wants to watch on tv.

Saturday and I'm stuck at home.  Slightly cranky.  I might put my shoes on and walk outside for a bit.  Fresh air is like medicine to me.  I might also get started on Thank You cards today.  Maybe.  Depending how long I can sit without getting too sore.  See.  You'd be cranky too.  Gregg says he wouldn't.  He'd just sit or sleep for days on end.  Whatever it took.  Wouldn't bother him in the least.  And that makes me cranky to hear.

A friend told me to have patience.  Sorry.  That's not a word I know.  So I think I'm going to go and take my new flowers that smell so wonderful and vase I love, and carry them around the house because I can do that.  Then I'm going to schedule in some self-pity.  And THEN I'm going to snap out of it, do a meme I was tagged on and find something to take my mind off myself.  Read, watch Blood Diamond, punch needle, take some pictures.........

Comments

[Sirdar]

I think having someone out of the house for a while and then they come back does take some getting used to. I was away for 7 years and only home on weekends. It was actually quite comfortable. But, I wanted my kids to know who I was so I came home. I tried a few years earlier and Dawn didn't want me at home because she thought I would screw up her routine. Let me tell you...that was not a good time in our life. But, eventually I did come home and it was difficult at first but now I am very glad I did. It has been a very good thing for our family and me. I am sure that when Gregg comes home for good, it will work out in the end...maybe not at first, but it will work out.

Keep on healin'

[Joy T.]

Sirdar: The good thing about Gregg is...he's a patient man. When it comes to his kids....not so much. And he knows it. So he leaves them to me, who has absolutely no patience for most people, but all the patience in the world for my kids. Another great thing about him. He tells me all the time he doesn't know how I do it. Two weeks and he's pulling his hair out. And we have great kids. Can't imagine what he'd do if we had what some people consider 'problem' children. Just no patience. And that's ok, because I'd be really lousy at his job so I think each of our rolls fits us to a T in our situation. He did notice how much the kids have a life of their own now and mentioned on a few occasions how lonely I must get sometimes. We talked about doing something about that so we'll see. Right now, everyone needs a break from everyone. I'll tell you, if mom is down, everyone seems to be down.

[sheryl]

But to flip that around Joy....when Mom is happy, everyone is happy! It wont be long and you will be back to your normal bubbly self! Things just cannot happen quick enough for us control freeks! Each day will get better and you know it! Hang in there girl!

[Lee]

hey! I have an idea! Learn something new...if you can find some way to do it. Perhaps if there is someone who you like who would be willing to teach something... knitting, beading, mess around more with your photography stuff? Too bad I live all the way down here in Maryland! I would love to bring over something new and different. Oh well, no such luck! But I hope that you feel a bit better soon, cause that in between space is no fun.

[pAT]

JOY, I FEEL SO BAD I DID NOT KNOW YOU HAD SURGERY. I DIDN'T HAVE YOUR SPOT OF T WEB WITH ME AND REALLY DIDN'T READ ANY MESSAGES FROM THE GROUP WHILE AWAY. HOPE YOU ARE OVER THE CRANKIES, LOL. I FEEL A BIT THAT WAY MYSELF TODAY. ACTUALLY WE ARE NOT VERY WITH IT SINCE PUTTING SANDY TO SLEEP AND THE HOUSE IS VERY QUIET EXCEPT FOR THE MOVIE MALCOLM IS WATCHING CALLED 300, HE HAS A BIT OF A HEARING PROBLEM AND IT IS LOUD..... TAKE CARE. PAT

[Debbie]

Yup - having those men around when we're not used to it can take some getting used to. Like you said, it's not bad - just different. I like the tv off during the day, and it can be a little annoying to have it on when I don't it to be. Ah well.

I'm sorry to read that you're feelin' cranky. Of course, it'll pass soon enough but it doesn't change the frustration of the here and now. I am glad that you have this outlet to vent.

Like Sirdar said: Keep healing!

[Heather]

I don't blame you for being cranky! Man I'd be sick of waiting and not feeling good...At least you are on the end leg of your healing process...it just continues to get better from here!