Psychotic Spastic Meltdown

So there I am.  Listening to a little Patrizio as I'm driving down 178 Street after my doctor's appointment.  When out of the blue I see something come scrambling down right in front of my eyes.  I take my sunglasses off to get a better look and as soon as I realize it's a frickin gigantic spider hanging down from the sunroof, the thing let's go and plops down into my lap.

You want to see Joy have a psychotic spastic meltdown?  Well you should have been at the corner of 178 Street and 107 Avenue today at about 1:30pm.  Because there was quite a little show going on.  So much so traffic even stopped.  Or came to a slow crawl anyhow.

All I remember is slamming on the brakes and jumping out.  I must have put it in park because the truck didn't go anywhere.  But I could have cared less if I didn't and the thing plummeted down a large mountain at that point.

When I jumped out I couldn't find the damn spider.  Where did it go?  Was it still on me?  Was it crawling in my ear?  Did it get in my pants?  Was it hiding in my shirt waiting for me to let my guard down and then start eating me alive?  Cripes I'm going to pee my pants right here in the middle of 178 Street.

I'm dancing and jumping around like I'm on fire and do you want to know what happened next?  Some man drives by slowly, leans out his window and says "Let me guess.  Spider?"  Now I'm still jumping around and brushing every part of my body and shaking and doing the eeby jeeby dance, but his comment stopped me dead in my tracks.  And I said "Yeeeeeeeesssssssss!"   And he laughed and said "Spiders have the same effect on my wife.  I thought I knew that dance." and drives away.

I look around and see the jinormous spider scampering away into the oncoming lane of traffic and relief rushes over me like I just beat death itself.

If anyone wants to go 'save the spider' I'm sure it's sitting on the curb at 178 Street and 107 Avenue still going "WHAT the hell was THAT?!"

Me?  I'm home now.  And I'm sitting here with a Vodka cooler.  I might even have to have two to get over this one.

Comments

[sheryl]

I am thinking that if I were to sing you Itsy Bitsy Spider....likely wouldnt be too funny eh? I am still laughing so believeably loud after reading your spider story..the boys likely think I was drinking. I am okay for a few minutes then I keep doing a visual of you doing the "funky spider!"And I lose it! Too funny but VERY scarey for you!

[Sirdar]

Oh man....I laughed out loud for this one!! I could just picture someone doing the spider dance. I love the guy's comment too. I was wondering what the CHED chopper traffic guy was talking about. Now I know LOL!!

[Penney]

I'd have done the same thing Joy and i'm freaking out because our new car has a sunroof. Do you think that is how it got in??? I can imagine you doing the spider dance and i feel for you because i hate spiders too they terrify me!!!!

[Beckie]

Oy, I would need a vodka cooler after that one too. I have to admire you for stopping the car and getting out - I probably would have just wrecked the car.

The guy recognized the spider dance - that is too much!

[Emma]

Oh that would have terrified me. There are some wolf spiders in my neigbour's house, the moment I see one in mine I will never enter my basement again. The laundry will be forever undone.

[Jeanne]

THAT is hilarious!! Terrifying for you, yes, but hilarious to those of us listening to your sense of humor!! Get yourself a bug vac at Sharper Image...greatest invention ever!

[Digital Princess]

First of all ... I LOVE your blog! The colours are totally inviting and soooo pretty! I also LOVE your sense of humor! Now ... that spider thing ... I would have done EXACTLY the same thing! Only I would be at home drinking something stiffer than a vodka cooler! A Paralyzer maybe ... cause that is what I would be ... PARALYZED! LOL
Big hugs
Alanna

[Heather]

I hate spiders! Your post had me cracking up! I had a similar pullover-jump out of the truck and do the heebeegeebee dance over a bumble bee. It's bad enough when I freak out over a bug or bee but when you add 3 screaming kids it's very unnerving....

[Debbie]

LOLOL! Been there - done that!