A Spot of T

Can You Feel The Love

There's a dip in the driveway.  No Gregg's not the dip I'm referring too.  He had some dirt hauled in over the weekend and proceeded to fill in a dip in the driveway that's been bugging us for ages.  When the time came to do the driveway, I specifically asked the pavers for a huge driveway up top in front of the house so there would be tons of room for people to turn around in.  And there is.  But still, people insist on backing up onto the grass to back up and turn around when they're leaving.  I'm not sure what filling in the dip will do.  Personally I think Gregg just wanted to play with the bobcat.

Speaking of.  Because I'm always telling about screw-ups Gregg makes, I thought I'd be fair and show this picture.  This is Gregg.  Filling in more dips.  This particular dip happens to be huge though.  And this is a dip I did.  Well not me personally but a dip I had someone else do while he had the bobcat there doing some work on the other side of the house.

Like yesterday's post, I'm all for getting things done while we can.  I believe it was 5 years ago I had brought in a bobcat because I wanted work done on the southside of the house.  Grass dug up and black dirt brought in so I could plant some willows on the side of the house.  Good for wind, great for keeping out nosey neighbours.  And while the bobcat was there I got this brainwave that I should get him to dig out the side of the hill by the firepit.  Again like yesterday's post, Joy's always thinking big.  Gregg and I had talked about wanting a new firepit so I took it upon myself to get the bobcat guy to start...Joy's dream firepit area.  I had a half moon dug out into the side of the hill and had visions of a retaining wall with stairs and benches and rock and....well I dreamed big.  But as you may or may not notice in the pictures.  There is a deck right there.  I'm on the upper deck taking the picture.  Gregg wants steps from the lower deck leading down into the firepit and the hole I had dug is much too close for that.  Plus the way the hole was dug....you can barely get into the shed you see sitting there.  Oh ooops.  I still see my beautiful firepit in my head.  But Gregg has "taken over doing the 'fricken' firepit area".  Whatever.  It's been so many years now I'm to the point I give a shit anymore.

I will tell a little story about the closest tree you see to the left of the above picture.  This is a big leaf tree that sits at the corner of the upper deck.  Nice right?  Well Michael and I are sitting at the kitchen table on saturday morning when we hear this big "Whomp!"  We look out and all we see is this HUGE wall of fire coming up from where the firepit is.  Seems Gregg took it upon himself to pour gasoline on the huge pile of trees we had sitting on the firepit and light it up.  Michael and I sat there saying "Well there goes the bottom deck."  Fortunately the bottom deck seems fine.  The tree?  Or at least half of it?  Not so much.  Deep sigh.

Do you want to know how to send Gregg through the roof?  Text message him.  Yep.  Because he hasn't figured out how to text message back.  So being the kind, loving wife that I am.  I send him little love notes.  Like the one above or things like....Gregg is a girl.  You know.  Lovey dovey stuff.  He complained the other day and swore once he figured out text messaging I won't know what hit me.  Ok.  I'll wait.  But in the meantime, the softer sensitive side of me came out and I decided to send him another text message.....

   

And finally.  I leave you with this.....

Joy:  "HEY GREGG!  SMILE OK?"

Gregg:  "HEY JOY!  HERE YOU GO!"

Through Gregg's Eyes....Through Joy's Eyes

Gregg:  "So the guy came to the house this morning to look at what we want done in the master bedroom bathroom."

Joy:  "Great.  What's he going to do?"

Gregg:  "Well if you were home what would you have told him to do?"

Joy getting all excited because she loves stuff like this:  "Oh I would have asked him about the walls and the ceiling in the bathroom first.  I would have asked him about the venting next.  Then I would have discussed the changes I want.  A new shower and toilet but we'll pick them out because we want something fancier.  Measurements for the biggest shower we can fit in there because I'd love a bigger shower.  Tile on the floor and on the walls because I like that look.  I would ask him about taking the one wall out that has the sliding door into the shower/toilet area to really open up the bathroom.  But I would put new beautiful doors in from the bedroom to the bathroom to still have some privacy.  I would talk to him about the options with that huge jacuzzi tub.  Either take the entire tub out and use the space to put in perhaps a double vanity or leave the jacuzzi tub in but replace the exising tile on it to something much nicer to spruce the area up a bit and update it.  I would ask him about not only putting in pot lights in the new bathroom, but putting potlights over the vanity and exchanging the old pot lights above the tub to newer ones.  And then while I was at it, I may as well ask about installing pot lights throughout the entire bedroom because the contractors are there anyway so may as well get it all done at once right.  I would also ask about a new mirror.  Then there's the City water into the house.  May as well get that hooked up.  I'd ask about the hole in the ceiling downstairs and since they have to repair and redo the entire ceiling in the basement anyway, I would get them to take off that gross bubble crap and replace with just a smooth painted ceiling.  Of course that's after adding the new pot lights throughout the basement because.  You know.  They are working on the ceiling anyway so why not get the lights put in before they redo it.  Why?  What did you tell the guy we wanted done?"

Gregg sitting in the chair in stunned silence: "Ummm.  I just asked him to take a look at the walls and see what he could do.  Change the shower and toilet and maybe some tile on the floor."

Gregg Decides to Play Plumber....Again

Joy sitting at the computer in her office:  "Why do I hear water running in the basement?"

Gregg shouting from the basement:  "Don't come down here!"

Joy:  "Why can't I come down there?  What is that water I hear?"

Gregg:  "Do we not have any pails or anything in this house any more?!"

Joy:  "Why do you need a pail?  What in the world is going on??"

Gregg:  "I just need to get a pail!" and he runs out to the garage to find a pail

Joy coming down into the basement:  "Oh.  My.  God."

Silence as I run upstairs.  Grab the camera.  Come back down and sit quiet as a mouse on the top basement stair.  Til Gregg spots me with the camera in my hand.

Gregg:  "Don't you dare take a picture Joy."

Joy:  "Why?  This would be great on my blog."

Gregg looking at me in stunned disbelief and horror:  "I mean it.  No pictures."

Joy laughing:  "Aw come on.  It's funny."

Gregg:  "Joy you take any pictures and I won't do a damn thing around here ever again."

Joy really laughing now because.  You know.  Ya.  Laughing hysterically.

Joy:  "You're such a stick in the mud.  You have no idea how many men you'd make feel good.  Because surely you can't be the only one.  Let me take some pictures.  If not for me.  For your fellow man."
Gregg:  "Joy I mean it.  I am NOT kidding."

Joy:  "Geeez."

Gregg:  "You can write about it.  I don't care.  But no pictures."

Joy:  "Deal!"

I'll title this one.....

Gregg Decides to Play Plumber....Again....Sigh

Instead of paying a plumber to come out and fix the master bedroom bathroom or to find out where the water is coming from that is making a brown stain on the ceiling in the basement.  Gregg takes it upon himself to "save the T's some money" and fix it himself.  We aren't poor.  But "it's better in our pocket then theirs" is the T plumber philosophy I guess.  Last time Gregg tried to save us some money with his plumbing skills....well....let's just say he didn't.  Gregg is not a plumber.  The man can do a lot of things and is quite a genius at most of them, but a plumber he is not.  I know it.  The kids know it.  And the plumber's we've had in after Gregg's played plumber, know it.  Gregg is the only one who doesn't seem to get he's not a plumber.

Hence the 'water' noise in the basement.  Mr. Wannabe Plumber charged up his cordless saw and proceeds to cut a hole around the brown spot on the basement ceiling.  All is going well.  Until about 6 inches into the cutting.  When all of a sudden water comes gushing out of the 6 inch gap.

Seems the mighty plumber cut the water hose that leads from the kitchen fridge ice-maker to the reverse osmosis under our kitchen sink.  That's right.  The water I heard was the water draining from our reverse osmosis tank.  Through the gap he just cut.  And it was spewing out all over the carpet downstairs.

The water hose from the fridge.  Ah yes.  You know.  Because only clean fresh clear ice cubes will do.  Not well water ice cubes.  No no.  That will never do.  Our well is high in iron and even though we have a kick-ass system to make things excellent with the water, hubby decided a long time ago to play Plumber once again and deemed it necessary to drill holes and snake hoses from the reverse osmosis under the kitchen sink to the fridge ice cube maker.  "Joy, you'll never go back to regular ice cubes again." is what he told me at the time.  The best ice cubes this side of the Canadian border.  Uh huh.

But back to the present.  The tank emptied.  All over the carpet in the basement.  And do we call a plumber to fix it?  Nope.  Gregg has assured me his Plumber senses kicked in and he spliced that hose and all is fine now.  "No more leaking Joy.  I got er."  Personally I don't consider it leaking when you slice through it with a saw.  I call it my big fat mistake is now fixed.  But whatever.

So let's see here.  I'm trying to count the number of times Mr. Wannabe Plumber has saved us money....

There was the dishwasher episode.  That definitely didn't save us money.  And I distinctly remember a hard pout coming from Mr. Wannabe Plumber when we had to bring in Mr. Actual Plumber to fix what Mr. Wannabe Plumber did.  And as soon as Mr. Actual Plumber took a look at the job Mr. Wannabe Plumber did, he said "Who the hell did this?  What a mess."  He didn't know it was Mr. Wannabe Plumber who had done the job and we didn't let on.  As far as Mr. Actual Plumber knew, it was another Actual Plumber who had botched this job.  "I" was going to tell Mr. Actual Plumber who made that fine mess.  But us wives have to stand behind our husbands right?  Well right??

I also remember another time.  When the sink in the master bathroom was replaced.  "Gregg are you sure we don't need to call a plumber?" I whined remembering all too well the bills from previous plumbing episodes.  "No way Joy." Mr. Wannabe Plumber assured me.  "I got er."  He put that sink in, hooked up the faucets and stood back prouder then punch.  "Beautiful" he said.  Then left for about three hours to run some errands.  And received a frantic phone call from me that there was water coming from the ceiling in the basement because the sink in the master bathroom was leaking.

There was also the time the bathroom sink in the main bathroom was replaced.  I don't know how many times I said "Gregg the sink is leaking" and he would say "I got er.  All fixed up."  He never got er and it was never all fixed up.

The sink in the kitchen.  One pipe wasn't glued on (??) properly and one of the kids pulled on the faucet...which comes out to use as a sprayer.....and it happened to catch around this pipe and popped it right off the pipe it was connected too.  So when you ran the water it would just run right under the sink and out onto the kitchen floor.  Made a helluva mess too.

If you were to come to our place and go to use the main bathroom, you would first be struck at how beautiful our main bathroom is.  I picked out the colors, worked with contractors on the cupboards and bath and even though it's a small bathroom, it's quaint and cute.  I would venture to say you would sit on the toilet and admire all Joy's work even.  But when you get up from the toilet, you will be surprised to feel as though the toilet is coming with you.  "The bolts just need to be tightened Joy.  I'll get er."  And then Mr. Wannabe Plumber runs out to the garage and gets his tools and gets er done in that bathroom.  "Toilets all tightened.  It's not going anywhere now.  Go ahead.  Sit down.  You'll love it." he says so proudly.  I don't know if it's fixed.  I refuse to use that bathroom.

For the love of all things sane, can someone PLEASE tell my husband he is not a plumber!  Because this 'saving a buck' is getting real expensive.

****  And just as a side note here.  For MONTHS I've been saying the brown spot leak was coming from the master bathroom shower.  MONTHS.  Once the hose was fixed and Gregg did all his tests of seeing where the leak was coming from.  You know.  Run upstairs and turn on the main bathroom sink.  Nope isn't coming from there.  Run up and flush the master bathroom toilet.  Nope isn't coming from there.  Run up and run the master bathroom shower and...."Well look at that." I believe were the words I heard come out of his mouth.  To which I replied "What?  What was that?  Is it the shower the leak's coming from?  I knew it!  I friggen KNEW it.  Oh man I'm a genius!  A fricken genius.  But don't listen to me.  Nooooooo.  What do I know.  Not a thing.  But I DO know.  And I did know.  And my god, there's going to be no living with me now."  Gregg just mumbled but I know he mumbled something like "Wow she IS a genius, and she DID know and WOW am I so glad I'm married to her."***** 

Busted

Gregg surprised us last night and drove home, which is fantastic except I gave our Oiler's tickets to the game today to our oldest daughter.  His words when he heard this? "Arrrrrgh!"  I didn't think he was coming home.  He said he wanted to surprise me, but I think my surprise of giving the tickets away was bigger.

So he sits down at the table, looks at me and says.......

Gregg:  "Right on, you got your hair permed.  Looks great Joy."

And I say........

Joy:  "Oh hey thanks Gregg.  I got this perm at the end of August."

Busted.

Now there are some women out there who would sulk and carry on because....boo hoo....their husbands just don't notice them anymore or......whine.......he doesn't love me anymore I know it.

I guess I shouldn't say it like that.  Some women really need those compliments from their husbands.  I'm not one of those women.

I know my husband loves me and I also know he'll eventually notice.  I won't even make up excuses for him because quite frankly I'm probably just as bad.

But it's the reaction I get when these little things happen that make me smile.......and make the most memories for me.

Gregg:  "Oh.  Um.  Well I knew that, I just didn't want to say anything because I know those perms have to settle and I was waiting for your hair to settle."

Gregg....looking at our son.....asks:  "They do have to settle don't they?"

Michael:  "Dad.  I'm 16, I don't have a clue what a perm is supposed to do.  I do know you've just been busted though."

Gregg:  "No No, I knew.  I was just waiting til it settled."

I don't have a clue what he was talking about.....settled?........but to see the expression on his face was priceless.

You Like Dolphins....No I Don't

I was having coffee with some friends yesterday and someone noticed the bracelet I had on.  It's one of those link bracelets.  I love it and wear mine quite often.

The ladies wanted to know what significance each link had to me, so I obliged them.  When I came to the dolphin I couldn't help but start laughing.

Ah yes, the dolphin.

For my birthday last year I open up one of my gifts from Gregg and in amongst all the other goodies is a link for my bracelet.  A dolphin.  I take the dolphin link out, tilt my head and hold it up.  I must have had a look of confusion on my face.

Gregg:  "What?  Don't you like it?"

Me:  "It's a dolphin."

Gregg:  "Ya I got you a dolphin because I know you like dolphins."

Me:  "I don't like dolphins."

Gregg:  "Yes you do."

Me:  "No, no I don't."

Gregg:  "Yes you do, you collect them."

Me:  "I don't collect dolphins Gregg, never have never will."

Gregg:  "Yes you do, you collect dolphins."

Me:  "Go and get one of those dolphins I collect and show it to me ok?"

Gregg:  "Well I don't see any........you don't collect dolphins?"

Me:  "No Gregg, I don't collect dolphins."

Gregg:  "But you like dolphins?"

Me:  "I never really thought about dolphins before."

Gregg:  "I know you like dolphins Joy."  He turns to the kids "Mom likes dolphins doesn't she."

Kids:  "Um no dad.  Where in the world did you get the idea she likes dolphins?"

Gregg:  "She does too, I know she does!  We've been married 20 years and for 20 years every single time I go grocery shopping with her and we're in the canned tuna section, she says to make sure and get the cans of tuna that are dolphin friendly.  She always repeats herself too, 'Gregg make sure and get the cans of tuna that are dolphin friendly'.  See!  She likes dolphins."

Jackpot Joy

Gregg's Version of 'Fixing' A Window

Me:  "Gregg, do you remember me asking you to fix the kitchen window above the sink?  The one that wouldn't close all the way and was letting all the cold air in?"

G:  "Ya why?"

Me:  "Well it's closed now, but I've been trying to get it open for the last 1o minutes and can't for the life of me get it open again."

G:  "That's because the last time I was home I nailed it shut from the outside."

Jackpot Joy

Looking Good Even in Death

Me:  "Wow I can't believe everything you got done today.  The toilet installed, the railings done on the deck, the garbage to the dump, the door fixed to the furnace room, what was your motivation?"

G:  "Because if I die while I'm gone on my fishing trip to Prince Rupert, I don't want it said in my eulogy that I never did get that toilet installed.

Me:  "So all it takes for you to get these "To Do" lists done is an expensive fishing trip and the fear you might look bad......when you're dead?"

G:  "You're not getting it Joy."

And I probably never will.

Jackpot Joy

Only the Outside Gets It

G:    "I thought I would clean the windows while you were out of town for the weekend."

Me:  "Hey that sounds like a fantastic idea, they sure could use it."

Skip ahead two days, when 'Me' and 'G' are sitting in the kitchen reading the paper:

Me:  "You know, I don't know what it is but I'm looking at the windows and they look better but they still look kinda dirty to me.  Did you make sure and change the water alot when you were washing the inside and outside of the windows?"

G:  "What are you talking about, I just washed the outside of the windows not the inside."

Jackpot Joy

A Home of His Own

I sent my husband the URL to my blog two weeks ago to see what he thought about it.  Today he called and said....

G:     "Hey I got that 'thing' of yours a little while ago and I finally figured out how to get in and see it."

Me:   "Oh ya, so what do you think?"

G:     "Cool, but how come there's nothing about me in there?"

Me:   "I mention you in there."

G:     "Well ya, but just in passing.  You should tell people how great I am to live with and how I always call you 'Jackpot Joy' because you're so lucky to have married me."

Me:   "Uh huh."

G:     "Ya, and you should write about how much fun I am and stuff like that.  Ya how much fun I am and how lucky you are.

Me:   "Sure, I can do that, it'll be fun.  As a matter of fact I'll give you your own 'category'.  A category is where no one has to go rooting through the entire blog to find things on you.....they can just click on your category and read all about you.

G:     "Wow, that's great.  I bet they'll like reading about me."

Me:   "I bet they will too."

Me:

sar.casm

a way of using words that are the opposite of what you mean in order to be unpleasant to sb or to make fun of them.

G:

naive

lacking experience of life, knowledge or good judgement and willing to believe that people always tell you the truth

Jackpot Joy