"Confront me if I don't ask for help". This is something I often say to my kids now that they are older. I stole it from the movie 28 Days. It was a fantastic movie that came out in 2000 starring Sandra Bullock. If you haven't seen the movie yet....you should. Sad, heartbreaking, funny, hope and a good ending.
The short version of the movie is Gwen, played by Sandra Bullock, is an alcoholic and a drug addict who doesn't get a whole lot of support in her life. When Gwen gets into trouble at one point in the movie she is given a choice, she can either serve jail time for her wrongdoing or she can waive it and spend 28 days in a rehab clinic.
She chooses rehab and at one point in her session, she has to wear a sign that says "confront me if I don't ask for help". Because she has a hard time asking for help so they want to remind her by making her wear the sign.
When I saw that sign and the reason behind wearing it, it's what Oprah likes to call a 'lightbulb moment'. It's not easy for Gwen in the movie to ask for help just like it isn't easy for a lot of people in the world to ask for help. Like Joy. I don't ask for help. I don't ask for advice. I don't ask for anything. Nothing. Zip. Ziltch.
Gregg says people love to help. I say I hate to bother anyone. Gregg says asking for help doesn't make you a lesser person. I say I grew up being told you lose your pride and soul if you ever ask for help. Gregg says asking for help doesn't mean you're weak. I say never asking for help has made me the strong person I am today. Gregg says it's hypocritical of me to help as much as I do yet refuse help in return. I change the subject. Gregg says "Joy. You gotta let go sometimes." I say to be quiet because I can't take another moment of his ever lovin arguing.
As I get older I'm learning that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. I actually admire people who can ask for help. It's still incredibly hard for me though and I rarely, if ever, ask for help.
So during the month of November I thought I would make Tuesday "Confront me if I don't ask for help" day. It will be a day where I ask you for help. Ask for your advice. YOU...will get to tell.....me. Because I asked.
You will get a glimpse into the mind that is Joy. You will see how and what I think about and the things that keep me up at night.
So it's only fitting this week I would start out asking this question....
Do you find it hard asking for help? If you find it hard asking for help can I ask why? Is it for the same reasons I mention above or are your reasons entirely different? If it's hard asking for help does this make your life a bit harder. Do you feel sad sometimes that you don't get help, yet you know you have brought it on yourself...by never asking?
If you can ask for help, especially without hesitation like my husband, could you please please please tell me your secret? Is it how you were raised? Is it no big deal and something you never even think about? Is it something you have learned to do over the years? Do you think life is easier for you because you can ask for help?
I want to know more then you can even imagine.
So there you go. YOU.....tell me.
